Raising a Problem Solver, Not a Problem Avoider

We all want our children to come to us when they have a problem—but we also want them to grow confident in solving things on their own. Problem-solving is a skill that develops with time and repetition, and it’s one of the most important relationship tools your child will ever use.

Why Problem Solving Matters

Kids who know how to solve problems:

• Are more resilient in the face of conflict

• Feel confident making decisions

• Are less likely to act out when things don’t go their way

• Handle peer drama with more maturity

Teach the 4-Step Method

1. What’s the problem?
   Help your child name it clearly.

2. What are my options?
   Brainstorm without judgment—even silly ideas.

3. What might happen next?
   Teach them to think through consequences.

4. What will I try?
   Support them in choosing and acting on a solution.

Use visuals and repetition—tools like my “Problems and Solutions Worksheets” allow your child to see real-world examples of age-appropriate conflicts and practice working through them.

Model It at Home

When a problem arises, try saying:

• “Let’s solve this together.”

• “What could we do differently next time?”

• “You tried one solution—do you want to try another?”

Reinforce that failure is just feedback, not the end of the road.

Let Them Struggle a Bit

It’s tempting to jump in and fix things for your child. But pausing—even for a minute—gives them space to think.

Instead of solving the issue yourself, ask:

• “What’s one idea you have?”

• “Do you want a hint or a solution?”

• “How did that solution work for you?”

With regular practice, you’ll find your child solving not only sibling arguments but also playground problems and even academic struggles with more confidence.