Teaching Kids to Fix Their Mistakes, Not Fear Them

Let’s be honest—no one likes making mistakes. But for kids, especially in elementary school, mistakes can feel devastating. They might fear consequences, embarrassment, or disappointing adults.

But mistakes are inevitable. More importantly, they’re teachable moments. Helping students respond to mistakes with ownership instead of avoidance is key to building responsible decision-making.

Normalize the Oops

Start by creating a culture where mistakes aren’t “bad”—they’re expected.

Try phrases like:

• “Mistakes help us learn.”

• “Everyone messes up sometimes. It’s how we fix it that matters.”

• “What’s the next right thing to do?”

When mistakes become part of the learning journey, students feel less shame and more motivation to repair the harm they may have caused.

The 4-Part “Fix It” Process

Teach students a simple framework:

1. Acknowledge it – “I messed up. I hit someone.”

2. Own it – “It was my choice, and I take responsibility.”

3. Make it right – “I apologized and helped them clean up.”

4. Learn from it – “Next time, I’ll use my words instead of my hands.”

Even young students can use this structure with support.

Support Emotional Regulation First

Before kids can take responsibility, they need tools to calm down:

• Breathing techniques

• Cool-down corners

• Safe adults to talk to

Once regulated, they’re more able to reflect without shame or defensiveness.

Avoid “Fix It or You’re in Trouble” Models

If we only push for apologies to avoid punishment, students learn compliance—not responsibility. Instead, create reflective time, space for repairing harm, and genuine conversations.

Additional Resource

I created a Stop, Think, Do Reflection Worksheet to guide students through calming down, thinking about what happened, and deciding what to do next. It’s useful after missteps but also as a proactive tool.

Final Thought

When we teach kids that mistakes are not the end of the world—but instead, a chance to grow—we give them permission to be human. And that’s when they really start to take ownership of their choices.